Solving The Mystery Of Nicki Minaj’s New, Interchangeable Selfie Face

Anyone else notice a recent trend in Nicki Minaj’s Instagram photos? Over the past few weeks, the “Lookin’ Ass” rapper’s selfies have taken a turn for the non-emoting neutral-face. Obviously, she still looks stunning and all (HDU), but we’re used to seeing Nicki be a little more…

…expressive? IDK, maybe it’s all part of Nicki’s new stripped-down look – no more costumes, no more colors, no more crazy faces? Did she change up the emotional game, too? Is simple the new OTT? Is this related to normcore?? WHAT DOES IT ALL MEAN. #EternalTruther

While we wait for answers, let’s get acquainted with Nicki’s new range of go-to selfie faces, and try to infer which emotion each one might possibly be channeling.

Happy, as in: “Lol, I’m Nicki Minaj. WHY WOULDN’T I BE THRILLED.”

Distraught, as in: “Do I need to flawlessly break down gendered double standards for you peasants again?”

Impressed, as in: “Did you see that queen impersonate me on ‘RuPaul’s Drag Race‘? Not bad!”

Scheming, as in: “Just you wait, Barbz. My next set of shower photos are right around the corner…”

Wistful, as in: “‘Member that time I challenged Rihanna to a duckface duel? Gewd times.”

Confused, as in: “Wait, you saw those flawless photos of my butt, and you’re still breathing? Huh? How?!”

Hungry, as in: “Ummmm, anybody got any boob cake?” #HungryIsAnEmotion

Angry, as in: “Stop stalking my Instagram.”

Photo credit: Nicki Minaj’s Instagram / GIFs: nickiminajgifs, nickimlnaj, nickiminajgifs

MONDAYS OF ...HEARTACHE!

4 Breakup Rules for Dumpers and Dumpees

Breakups: They're an emotional time for everyone. Let’s agree on a few ground rules, shall we? 

Katy Perry moved on after her public breakup with Russell Brand.

Rules for Dumpers
You’re over him. Here’s how to deliver the news nicely:
1. Never end a relationship via text message. You’re better than Russell Brand! A breakup should be at least slightly harder to initiate than a game of Words With Friends.

2. Don’t say you “want space” when you really just want to break up. Actually, never say you “want space,” period. If that’s what you want, move to the country.

3. In your actual breakup conversation, focus on the big picture. Pick the top two or three reasons things aren’t working and stick to them. His playing air guitar in public doesn’t need to come into this.

4. Be kind. Be honest. Be respectful. Be unavailable. As bad as you feel, you are the very last person your former beau should be leaning on to process this breakup—and you might have to be the one who enforces this rule.

Rules for Dumpees
So. The worst has happened. Here’s what to do now:
1. Write all the angry emails you want. Don’t send them. Also, resist the urge to post rants about your ex where the world (or at least all of Reddit) can see it. Remember, he has your secrets and could do the same.

2. Disconnect as completely as you can. Take his number out of your phone. Don’t go to “his” bar. Don’t read his Twitter. Don’t check his Facebook. See, not so bad, right?

3. Keep any “sex with the ex” in perspective. It doesn’t mean you’re back together or that you’re weak. It happened. It happens. If it’s happening too much, see the previous rule.

4. Remember this isn’t your only relationship. Your loved ones were there for you before you met this guy, and they are there for you now. Lean on them. And forgive, even if you can’t forget. That whole letting-go-of-anger thing feels pretty good.